How to go forward when you’re not sure how

I seem to be doing that a lot these days – saying Yes to something and then having my moments of doubt and uncertainty, wondering if I really have what it takes, thinking it’s so much safer in my cozy cave and why the heck did I agree to this anyway?

Well, I know the answer. I agreed because it’s something I actually really wanted to do, felt inspired to do…. However. It’s one thing to say Yes when it’s somewhere out there in the future, it’s another when the future is suddenly creeping unnervingly close to the present.

So…. Here’s how I get through this.

It’s never too late

Well, at least not as long as you are still above ground… and even then, who knows, really?

I’ve been pondering the chain of events that have been unfolding in the past months since I took up my blogging journey in earnest, and realizing how many marvelous new opportunities have been presenting themselves to me along the way.

These new opportunities for business and personal expansion are seemingly unrelated to my blog, but as we know, life works in mysterious and imperceptible ways, and one thing always leads to another….

My point?

When you say Yes to one opportunity, one commitment, one change in your life, it unleashes a whole chain reaction of previously unimaginable openings. It’s like you put your foot in the door, and before you know it the momentum of life and your own openness and willingness to respond opens it all the way.

And then?  Why then, anything is possible.

So remember dear reader, as long as you are still breathing, it's never too late to say Yes to something new!

On getting in our own way.....

"Life didn't get in the way, you got in the way. Stop saying yes to so many damn things." Kim Klaver

I heard this on a master mind call today. I don’t know about you, but it’s the kind of message I can’t hear too often.

Sometimes it’s just so darn hard to narrow our focus to the things that truly matter.

It’s just so dang easy to say yes. I mean, there are so many cool things to say yes to, right?

Every morning my inbox is flooded with interesting things. You click one link and zoom – down the rabbit hole you go… to end up an hour later goodness knows where.

It takes discipline to stay focused. It takes renunciation. Now that’s a concept – not a very popular one I bet. Renouncing the fascination with the new shiny things that tantalize us from the endlessly fascinating world we live in, where everything we could possibly want to know is a mere click away.

It takes choosing to stay true to our commitment,  staying faithful to our passion and our goals.

It’s a good reminder for the likes of me, perhaps you too, who like to wander in this every expanding universe of possibilities.

When Yes means No, and No means Yes.

As someone who is prone to saying yes far too often, I’ve been thinking about this whole Yes, No thing.

The truth is, I would bet that most of us are actually terrified of saying No.  I was. I still am, truth be told.

It goes against our desire to please others, to make everyone happy. We don’t want to be rude. We are afraid of conflict. We are afraid no one will love us anymore. There are so many reasons it is so hard to utter this one little word. 

So, all too often, we say Yes, when we really mean No.

And is that a full-hearted, I’m totally in, all hands on deck, kind of Yes?

Frequently not, says Rory Vaden, my new favorite anti-procrastination guru. It’s actually often a reluctant, unenthusiastic, uncommitted, half-hearted kind of Yes. Which really means it’s actually a Maybe.

Maybe I’ll get around to doing this thing I said I would do but don’t really want to do. Or maybe I’ll do it in a half assed kind of way, resenting it every step of the way. Or maybe I won’t even get around to it all.

Because that reluctant, martyred Yes, my friend, was not a real Yes.

And you know what else?

Every time we say Yes, we are actually saying No to something else.  Right?  If I do X, then I can’t do Y. If I volunteer for Z, I won’t have time for working on something else. Something else that might actually be far more important to me. Something that is actually moving me in the direction of my goals. Something I am passionate about.

But what if I just say No?  Not a reluctant “Ok, I’ll do it.” Not a half-hearted “Sure.” Not an unenthusiastic, “Well, I guess so.”  Just “No.”

Well then, a whole world opens up. I am now free to say Yes to that which my heart really wants to do. I can Yes to that quiet song that is singing to me. I can say Yes to what will set me free.

And the other thing?  We free up the person asking us to say Yes, to  find someone who really will say Yes.  So we help them to find what they really need. And that means someone else, who really did want to say Yes to that request, gets to say Yes. It’s really a Win-Win!

 Still scared of saying No? Tune in tomorrow and I’ll share some ideas on how to say No with grace (and without guilt).