Trusting your heart's "Yes"

My life has taken more twists and turns in the last 24 hours than the winding road from San Cristobal Las Casas to San Andrés Larránzair, where I have been volunteering as an interpreter for the last week for the amazing Mammoth Medical Missions team.

So... plan A.  Monday through Saturday: Interpret for teaching week and Mass Disaster Conference. All wonderful, amazing experiences, worked my tushy off and loved every minute of it. Sunday: Meet my beloved friends from Guatemala, spend 2 days catching up on the past 32 years and sightseeing in San Cristobal. Tuesday: Fly back home.

That's when life threw me a curve ball. After weeks of planning and anticipation, and traveling all night, my friends got turned back by Immigration because of a missing stamp on a travel document- arrgh! 

Mother’s Day: What had promised to be a joyous get-together turned into a very teary series of FB phone chats, as we came to terms with the new reality: our longed for reunion was not to be this time.

Plan B: Now that you're not busy, it would be great if you could join us for triage day of surgery week on Monday, says David Page, our Mammoth Medical Missions fearless leader. So that was an immediate Yes. How could I not? The opportunity to meet the rest of the surgical team flying in from Mammoth, the prospect tof being able to be a part of the big day of sorting and evaluating patients waiting for a variety of much needed surgeries, the golden blessing of being able to work with our amazing Tzotzil indigenous interpreters as part of a relay interpreting team.  Ok, wonderful. I’ll just taxi buzz back up the winding climb to San Andrés, put in a great day’s work, and fly back home to my hubby and kitty on Tuesday morning as planned.

Plan C: Can I convince you to stay for surgery week?  We could really use your help, says Fru, the irrestistibly charming surgeon I am interpreting for. Long story short, a texting frenzy back and forth with my dear supportive hubby who not only gives me his blessing to stay on but changes my airline ticket for me, and I am here for surgery week and won't be heading back home until Saturday. Back up the mountain, ready to pitch my tent and who knows what will be around the next bend?

This past week has been kind of like navigating rapids (not that I’ve ever been brave enough to do it!) - you just have go with the flow, lean into life’s curve balls, and make the most of those rapids…. and trust that your heart’s Yeses will carry you safely home, with some wild and wonderful thrills along the way.

Here’s to a big Yes to la vida!

When Yes means No, and No means Yes.

As someone who is prone to saying yes far too often, I’ve been thinking about this whole Yes, No thing.

The truth is, I would bet that most of us are actually terrified of saying No.  I was. I still am, truth be told.

It goes against our desire to please others, to make everyone happy. We don’t want to be rude. We are afraid of conflict. We are afraid no one will love us anymore. There are so many reasons it is so hard to utter this one little word. 

So, all too often, we say Yes, when we really mean No.

And is that a full-hearted, I’m totally in, all hands on deck, kind of Yes?

Frequently not, says Rory Vaden, my new favorite anti-procrastination guru. It’s actually often a reluctant, unenthusiastic, uncommitted, half-hearted kind of Yes. Which really means it’s actually a Maybe.

Maybe I’ll get around to doing this thing I said I would do but don’t really want to do. Or maybe I’ll do it in a half assed kind of way, resenting it every step of the way. Or maybe I won’t even get around to it all.

Because that reluctant, martyred Yes, my friend, was not a real Yes.

And you know what else?

Every time we say Yes, we are actually saying No to something else.  Right?  If I do X, then I can’t do Y. If I volunteer for Z, I won’t have time for working on something else. Something else that might actually be far more important to me. Something that is actually moving me in the direction of my goals. Something I am passionate about.

But what if I just say No?  Not a reluctant “Ok, I’ll do it.” Not a half-hearted “Sure.” Not an unenthusiastic, “Well, I guess so.”  Just “No.”

Well then, a whole world opens up. I am now free to say Yes to that which my heart really wants to do. I can Yes to that quiet song that is singing to me. I can say Yes to what will set me free.

And the other thing?  We free up the person asking us to say Yes, to  find someone who really will say Yes.  So we help them to find what they really need. And that means someone else, who really did want to say Yes to that request, gets to say Yes. It’s really a Win-Win!

 Still scared of saying No? Tune in tomorrow and I’ll share some ideas on how to say No with grace (and without guilt).