The secret question that will carry you through the hard times

After a weeklong blog break, I’m back with #2 of Rory Vaden’s 7 strategies for self-discipline from his book, Taking the Stairs.  In case you missed my take on his first strategy, embracing the Pain Paradox, you can catch up here.

What happens when the going gets tough? 

We all come to those points in our lives, whether they are moments or extended periods, when things don’t go according to plan, our efforts don’t seem to be paying off, we just can't figure out how to go forward, it’s all uphill. We’ve all been there. And will most likely be there again, and again. It’s just part of life.

So the question is, what do we do when we hit the hard times?

When faced with challenge and difficulty, most of, explains Rory, start being unsure of what we are doing, start doubting our original commitment and asking ourselves the Should questions. “Should I carry on?” “Should I quit trying?” “Should I try something else?”

Herein lies the danger in this seemingly innocuous line of questioning: we convince ourselves we’re better off abandoning the challenge at hand, trying something new, and then end up right back where we started because let’s face it folks – the problem usually lies within us, not the situation.

So what is the secret key for success when navigating those decision points in our lives? It’s a simple shift from asking the “should” questions to asking the “how” questions, advises Rory.

So, instead of “Should I be doing this?” – which of course immediately give us a way out, we ask ourselves “How do I do this?”

The simple switch from “should” to “how” opens up a whole world of resources, creativity, hidden strengths and talents, that will all come to our aid and help us achieve so much more than we ever dreamed was possible.

So next time you are feeling challenged and hear yourself asking those “should” questions…. Take a breath, and then make a choice to ask a new question – and make sure it starts with the word “How”. You’ll be amazed at the power you unleash!





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