Through the Looking Glass- More reflections on caring for an aging parent

Have you ever had that experience when you happen to glance in the mirror, and for a moment you don’t recognize yourself? Because in your mind you are still the same person you were in your mid 20’s, and there you are, 60’s something staring back at yourself and you think, “Om my goodness, what happened?” “Who is this?”

My mum and I were talking about that the other day. I can see sometimes that she is just so bewildered to find herself in her 88 year old body, with failing eyesight and faltering steps and a very forgetful mind.  Don’t get me wrong, in many ways she is doing great for 88. She is on virtually no meds, she is bright and alert and her intelligence, humor and wit are in no way diminished.

So sometimes we reminisce about those days when she was a vibrant red head who danced the rhumba and the samba at the company parties she used to regularly host as a “Goodyear wife” back in the days of my childhood, or the pianist who practiced the classical composers for hours on end, or the woman who scored a hole in one at the country golf club in Colombia, who flew back to England 35 years ago to care for her own aging mother. And so the world turns.

It certainly gives me pause for reflection, wondering what my life will look like in another 25 years when I reach her age. So I watch her and learn, and I notice what gives her joy, and I see it is the simplest of things. A beautiful piece of classical music on the radio. The birds pecking away at their seeds on our birdfeeder. A bowl of ice cream. But most of all, the joy of being near her family and sharing our lives. In the end, isn’t that what it’s really all about? The love that we share?