Leisure is not the goal – What?!#

After having busted the myths of the dubious virtues of claiming too much busyness and the erroneous notion of balance, I somehow wasn’t too surprised to read Rory Vaden’s next exposé on another of our cherished notions of time management.

I mean, isn’t that the American dream? You work like crazy for 40 years, sell your soul to the man, and then finally retire in your golden years to a leisurely life of hobbies and travel?

Well, as most of us baby-boomers have to face, things aren’t quite working out that way that anymore. In fact, traditional sources of income (think social security, retirement pensions, return on savings) are dwindling, retirement costs are rising, our life expectancy and health care costs are rising, and the reality is that we will have to adjust our vision of our “golden years.”

So, before we all sink in to doom and gloom, let’s look at it another way. As Rory Vaden states, it took him spending time with those successful people he refers to as the “Multipliers” to realize “that work isn’t something to be endured, that we should try to avoid whenever possible, and it isn’t something that should be a finish line that you race to so one day you can stop.”

The key to embracing this new reality, I believe, is doing work that we love, that we are passionate about – then work is, as Vaden states, freedom and joy.

So if you are, like me, one of those baby boomers who are in the process of amending our expectations of those golden years– then let’s get busy finding that passion and purpose if we haven’t already, so we can be fully engaged in our glorious, productive, passionate lives – today and tomorrow.  Think?

“Oh, how lovely!” More musings on caring for an aging parent

I am so fortunate to have my own business, to have a flexible schedule that gives me the freedom to take my mum here and there as we go about the business of setting up her new life here – the doctor, the bank, the lawyer, the optician, the chiropractor… we have our schedule of appointments and visits and excursions over to our house for tea, or a meal.  She checks her little diary where I write in what is happening at least 10 times a day, because appointment times are one of those things that seems to slip through her mind like water.

But sometimes, when I have a little unforeseen space in my schedule, I pop in on her unexpectedly. And always, the same response. A look of joyful surprise, a huge smile, and these words – “Oh, how lovely, I wasn’t expecting you, how lovely!”

And I think to myself, wow, what a blessing that simply my presence can bring another human being such joy. And then I wonder, in the end, isn’t that all we really need from each other? Our loving presence?

Who can you give the gift of your loving presence to, beloved reader?

Through the Looking Glass- More reflections on caring for an aging parent

Have you ever had that experience when you happen to glance in the mirror, and for a moment you don’t recognize yourself? Because in your mind you are still the same person you were in your mid 20’s, and there you are, 60’s something staring back at yourself and you think, “Om my goodness, what happened?” “Who is this?”

My mum and I were talking about that the other day. I can see sometimes that she is just so bewildered to find herself in her 88 year old body, with failing eyesight and faltering steps and a very forgetful mind.  Don’t get me wrong, in many ways she is doing great for 88. She is on virtually no meds, she is bright and alert and her intelligence, humor and wit are in no way diminished.

So sometimes we reminisce about those days when she was a vibrant red head who danced the rhumba and the samba at the company parties she used to regularly host as a “Goodyear wife” back in the days of my childhood, or the pianist who practiced the classical composers for hours on end, or the woman who scored a hole in one at the country golf club in Colombia, who flew back to England 35 years ago to care for her own aging mother. And so the world turns.

It certainly gives me pause for reflection, wondering what my life will look like in another 25 years when I reach her age. So I watch her and learn, and I notice what gives her joy, and I see it is the simplest of things. A beautiful piece of classical music on the radio. The birds pecking away at their seeds on our birdfeeder. A bowl of ice cream. But most of all, the joy of being near her family and sharing our lives. In the end, isn’t that what it’s really all about? The love that we share?