You are not behind

As someone who is prone to feeling constantly behind, whether it’s with my on-line professional development courses, my home de-cluttering projects or getting ready for tax season, these words stopped me cold. “But of course I’m behind – I should be farther ahead!” Do these words sound familiar?

Well, here is radical thought. What if you are not behind? Not now. Not ever. What if you are exactly where you need to be, doing exactly what you need to be doing?

One of my favorite mentors, money guru Bari Tessler, recently sent out an email with this title as part of her free mini-course on her Art of Money method (which is awesome and you can access by clicking on the link above).

To quote Bari, “This mantra, “I am behind” is deeply ingrained in our collective psyche. It’s a form of self-directed aggression dressed up in “self-improvement” clothing. It’s an addictive, shaming loop. It’s self-defeating: it drains the energy, empowerment, and peace of mind we need to accomplish the very things we feel “behind” on. It’s time to let it go.”

I SO needed to hear that!

So this week, I am taking Bari’s advice and honoring my own pacing and intuition, learning to trust my own priorities and claiming my choices. Ahhh, what a relief.

 I can hear you saying, “But……”
Believe me, I know. I have that same voice in my head – won't I just be letting myself off the hook?
Won’t I just whittle away my time and not get anything done?

Well, what I have learned so far is that letting go of that stressful “I am behind” mantra, actually gives me the mental space and the emotional equanimity to look at my priorities more clearly and step into my to do list with renewed clarity, intention and energy.

Next time you find yourself clenching your jaw, tightening your gut or taking shallow breaths, take a peek at what’s going on inside your head. Perhaps the “You are behind” mantra is playing in the background – time to hit the eject button, have a drink of water, take a couple of deep breaths, munch on a bite of dark chocolate and play a new tune – I am not behind!


  1. Hi, Julie! Thank you for these words--I found the "mantra" idea interesting and am actively going to consciously take note of my mantras and do what needs to be done! A recently-retired friend from the US came to visit here and as we sat in the ocean lounging someone asked her what time it was, and she answered, "I don't know, but we are WAY ahead of schedule!" I thought it very appropriate and have used it jokingly, but it feels gooooood to say! Regards, Barbara

    1. Thanks so much for your comment Barbara, and I love the idea of declaring that I am way ahead of schedule, I'm going to add that one to my repertoire!

  2. Love this. I am NOT behind. I am exactly where I need to be, doing what I need to do. I am not behind. Thank you for this.

  3. I am NOT behind. Love it. Love it. Love it. Thank you for posting this on!

  4. Thank you Andrea. I'm so glad this message resonated with you!